Tell him you need a partner who actually plans dates

When someone doesn't plan dates, it's not usually about incompetence. It's about priority and effort. If he's content to let you drive every plan, he's signaling that organizing the relationship isn't on his list. He might like you fine. He's just operating in a mode where you do the work.

This gets worse over time, not better. You'll carry the mental load of keeping the relationship moving. He'll experience you as the planner, which actually erodes attraction. You need to know now if he's someone who pulls his weight or someone who defaults to letting you lead.

Your message needs to be about what you want in a partner, not what's wrong with him right now. There's a difference. One is a boundary you have. The other is a complaint. He needs to hear the first thing.

You're also inviting him to step up here. Make space for him to do it. Don't list all the times he didn't plan anything. Don't imply he's lazy or selfish. Just say clearly that you need someone who takes initiative with dates. Then let his next move tell you everything about whether he's that person.

Bring this up when things are still casual enough that he won't feel attacked, but serious enough that he knows you're not just venting. If he asks what you mean, give him a concrete example. 'Like, booking a restaurant on Saturday instead of asking me what I want to do.'

After you say it, stop talking and wait. If he goes quiet or gets defensive, that's your answer. If he books something within the next week or two and mentions plans he's making, he heard you and he's moving. Don't drag it out. You'll know pretty fast if he's capable of this. Three or four dates in, you'll have enough data.