Tell him you want real interest, not just convenience texting

When he texts once a week, or only at night, or after days of silence, that's a choice he's making. Not because he's busy. Not because he's forgetful. He's prioritizing other things and reaching back to you when the moment works for him. This pattern tells you exactly how much energy he's putting into you. It's also a pattern that will not change on its own. Most guys in this mode aren't sitting around thinking about you between messages. They're texting multiple people, or focused on work, or just low-effort with everyone. The only variable is whether he decides you're someone worth a different effort level. That decision doesn't get made by you trying harder or being more interesting in your replies.

You're not asking him to change. You're stating what you need and seeing if he steps up or steps back. A solid message acknowledges that something is already happening between you, names what's missing, and makes a clear ask. It should be short enough that he can't find ten different ways to interpret it. Don't ask him why he's been distant or what he's thinking. Don't list all the times he went quiet. Just say what you need going forward. Give him room to either match that energy or bow out. Both answers are useful. A yes means something real can start. A no means you have your answer and can stop investing time.

Time it for a moment when you're not hurt or frustrated. Send it in the afternoon, not at night when he might think it's an emotional text. After he messages you is often a decent moment. Do not send multiple messages after this. Do not soften it if he takes a while to respond. If he goes quiet for days, that's his response. If he comes back with something noncommittal like 'Yeah of course I like you,' you don't have to keep explaining. You can ask to make actual plans, and if those plans never materialize, you know what to do. The point of the text is to stop the ambiguous texting loop. Once you've sent it, don't loop back into the old pattern.