How to text her you want a real relationship, not FWB

If she's been pulling back on texting, taking longer to respond, or seems less interested in hanging out, that's not always a sign she wants out. Sometimes it's the opposite: she's protecting herself because she caught feelings and doesn't know if you have them too. Other times it means she's fine with the arrangement and is starting to see other people or focus elsewhere.

What matters is whether she still initiates, still seems into the sex, and still makes time for you. If she does, she's open to hearing this. If she's already gone quiet or only hits you up when she's bored, the timing for this conversation has already passed.

The move here is to state your position once, clearly, without over-explaining it. Don't justify why you want more. Don't list all the reasons she should want it too. Don't ask her opinion on whether it's a good idea. Just tell her what you're feeling and what you want to happen next, then wait for her response.

If she asks questions or wants to talk about it, that's good, that means she's engaging. But your job on that first text is to be clear and honest, not to convince her. The conviction comes from the fact that you're willing to walk away if she doesn't want the same thing.

Afternoon texts land better than late night ones because they don't read as desperate or drunk. Send it when you're clear headed and she's likely to see it right away, not when you're spiraling at midnight.

After you send it, do not text her again for at least three days unless she responds first. If she doesn't respond at all after a week, that's your answer, and you should stop reaching out. Silence after this kind of ask is a choice. If she does respond but says she needs time or isn't sure, give her a week or two, then bring it up once more. After that, you need to decide whether you're staying in the arrangement or walking.