Tell her you want deeper talks, not small talk

Surface chat isn't always a bad sign. Sometimes it's just how people start. But if weeks have passed and she still answers your deeper questions with a joke or a short reply, that's information. She might be testing whether you'll stick around, protecting her own time, or just not thinking of this as something that could go deeper.

Read the pattern. One shallow reply could be a bad day. Three weeks of 'lol' and emoji after you've tried to ask her things matters. The difference between polite friendliness and actual interest shows up in whether she ever volunteers something real about herself or always makes you pull it out of her.

Your reply needs to do two moves. First, gently point out the gap between how you two are actually talking and how you want to talk, but don't frame it as her fault. Second, show her what a real conversation with you looks like by going first. Ask something specific that only she can answer based on her actual life or thoughts, not something generic. Then answer the same question about yourself before she can. This removes the pressure she might feel and shows her the tone you're going for.

Making it feel like an invitation, not a correction, is what matters. You're not saying 'stop doing this.' You're saying 'I'd rather do this.'

One light reply doesn't mean redirect. Two might be a coincidence. By the third or fourth time she gives you nothing, you have real information and you're not overreacting. Send your reply on the same day, in your normal texting window. Don't wait weeks hoping she changes.

If she doesn't meet you halfway after you've made the move once, wait a few days before sending something else. If her second reply is still surface level, she's signaling something. You can try once more with a different approach, but after that, accept it and either stay in surface chat mode with her or step back. Pushing harder just looks desperate.