How to suggest a date when she asks questions but won't commit

When someone asks you a lot but shares almost nothing about themselves, they're not building rapport. They're seeing if you'll keep performing for entertainment. On Hinge, this usually looks like: you mention something, she asks a follow-up, you elaborate, she asks another follow-up. Meanwhile her answers are brief and deflect back to you.

This isn't bad intent. She might like you. But she's also comfortable in the role of questioner, which is the role that requires the least vulnerability. A person actually interested in dating you will eventually volunteer information about their availability, their life, their schedule. The questions are just the medium. The withholding is the message.

A real suggestion has two parts: the thing you want to do, and when. Not "we should grab coffee" but "there's a coffee place on Main Street I like. Are you free Saturday afternoon?" Specific enough that she can't hide behind vagueness.

Once you've said that, stop. Don't ask why she's not answering. Don't send another message five minutes later. Don't soften it with 'no pressure' or other filler. She either wants to meet you or she doesn't. Your job is to find out. If she doesn't respond, or responds with another question instead of an answer, that's your answer.

After you suggest a date, give her two days to respond. Life gets in the way. She might be busy with work or traveling or her phone died. But after 48 hours with no response, you can treat the non-answer as an answer.

If she responds with a question instead of a yes or a counteroffer, that's still a non-answer. One follow-up question back ("so does Saturday work?") can clarify. But if she asks more questions instead of engaging with your actual date suggestion, move on. She's bought herself more free conversation, not more time with you.