Dating texting guide

Text a true crime match without sounding like you're making small talk

How to start texting someone obsessed with true crime podcasts and research. Skip the generic openers and hit the actual interest.

Read the situation

True crime people are often deep researchers, not casual listeners. They have opinions about cases, favorite podcasters, and probably strong takes on why certain investigations failed. A generic "hey how was your weekend" will vanish into their inbox.

A good first text here signals you actually read their profile and care about what they're into, not just that they're attractive. It also gives them something real to respond to. Not a question they've answered a thousand times before.

The match is showing you they want to talk about something specific. Take them at their word.

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Research obsession looks like a real conversational opening

When someone says they're deep into research and podcasts, they're telling you they like to think and form opinions. They're not just background listening during a commute. They probably have a case they're currently following, a podcast they think is overrated, or a theory they want to talk through. This is a person who wants a text partner who can keep up, not someone who needs constant validation or attention. The fact they mentioned it in their profile means they actually want it to come up early.

Reference something specific without pretending you're an expert

Your opening move is to pick up on a particular podcast, case, or angle they mentioned, then add one sentence that shows you either listen too or have a real question. Do not claim expertise you don't have. Asking "what's the wildest thing you've discovered" or "which case actually frustrated you" gives them room to go deep without you having to perform knowledge you lack. The point is to signal that you see them as someone worth learning from, not someone you need to impress with research.

Send it within a day and expect a longer wait

True crime people are often reading, listening, or working through cases. They may not text back immediately, and that's normal. Send your opener in daylight hours so it lands while they're awake but don't expect a reply within three hours. If they don't reply within two days, move on. If they do, match their response length but don't drag it out. Once you're actually texting, move toward meeting sooner rather than later, since heavy research people can get caught in messaging loops that replace actual dates.

Do not send

Why these replies fail

  • “Haha I bet you have some crazy stories about murders and stuff. I'm lowkey obsessed with true crime too btw”

    Reduces their interest to "crazy stories" and turns it into a generic shared hobby instead of the specific research focus they mentioned.

  • “What's your favorite true crime podcast? I've been trying to find a good one to start”

    Generic question they've definitely answered before. Doesn't show you've engaged with anything they actually said.

  • “That's cool. So what do you do for work?”

    Ignores the thing they brought up and pivots to safety. Signals you're not interested in what they care about.

Avoid these

Common mistakes

  • Asking what their favorite podcast is without mentioning one you've heard or giving context
  • Making a joke about being careful around them or not ending up in a podcast
  • Pivoting to something safer like their job or hometown instead of engaging with what they said
  • Sending a wall of text about your own true crime obsession before they've replied once
  • Waiting too long to reference the specific thing they mentioned, then it feels forced

Questions people ask

Should I mention a specific true crime case or podcast if I don't listen to that exact one?
Only mention something you actually know about or have heard. If you haven't listened to their specific podcast yet, reference the genre or ask them about a case they mentioned. Frame it as curiosity, not homework.
Is it weird to ask them to recommend where I should start if I'm new to true crime?
No, as long as you frame it as real interest, not flattery. Something like "I've heard about [specific case], is that one people usually start with" shows you're not just asking them to educate you from scratch.
What if they don't reply to my first text about true crime?
Wait two days, then move on. A single follow-up is fine, but don't send multiple messages about the same topic. They either missed it or aren't interested in texting right now.
Can I ask them out in the first few texts or should I build rapport first?
After two or three back-and-forth texts where you're both responding well, suggest meeting. True crime people often prefer action over long text chains. Keep it simple. Suggest a coffee or drink and a specific day.

What people say after using WingAI

  • “I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”

    Sam R.

  • “I always freeze on the first sentence. This gets me past that blank box so I actually hit send.”

    joejoe4567

  • “Used it for a couple hours and set up a date the same night. Not even kidding.”

    Nikola2214

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