How to respond when she keeps changing her mind about plans

Flakiness isn't usually about the date or time. It's about her level of interest and how much friction matters to her. If someone wants to see you, they move through the friction. They say yes and keep it. If she's changing her mind or staying vague after a specific plan, you're looking at one of these scenarios. She's not that interested right now. She's using you as a backup option. She has real life stuff going on but hasn't told you straight.

Don't try to decode which one it is. Instead, notice the pattern and respond to it. Someone who goes back and forth is showing you how much work this is going to be. Your reply should test whether she's willing to step up.

Pick a specific time and date. Say it clearly. Then tell her when you need to know. 'Sunday at 7 works for me. Just let me know by Friday if that's still good for you.' Not angry. Not desperate. Just factual.

If she says yes right away, you're in. If she says maybe or goes quiet, that's your answer. Don't offer a backup time. Don't say 'whenever works for you.' Those moves reward the flakiness and set you up to keep waiting for her to decide. The reply should feel like you have other things going on, because ideally you do.

If she confirms and then cancels, or if she ignores your deadline and you don't get a yes, step back. Don't send a follow up text asking where she is or what changed. Don't try again next week. Let her come to you.

This isn't punishment. It's just how you sort out whether she's worth your time. If she actually wants to see you, she'll reach out and propose something. If you don't hear from her for two weeks or more, she's made her choice. At that point, you're done waiting.