How to Reply on Hinge When She Says She's Not a Big Drinker but Likes Brunch
She said she doesn't drink much but loves brunch. Here's how to read that and reply on Hinge without overthinking it or turning it into a test.
She's given you two things at once: a small piece of info about how she likes to spend time (she's not into drinking as the default), and a clear invitation hiding in the brunch line. Most people read the first part as a boundary or a warning and the second part as a throwaway. It's the other way round. The drinking line is just her telling you what kind of date she'd enjoy, and brunch is her saying daytime plans work for her.
A good reply does three things: it accepts the info without making it a big deal, it shows you actually listened by picking up the brunch part, and it moves toward a specific plan. Vague enthusiasm about brunch doesn't move anything. Neither does a long paragraph about your own drinking habits.
If you respond to the drinking line with a defensive note or a joke that assumes she's uptight, you'll make a simple preference feel like a judgment. Keep it light and move on.
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Read the brunch line as the real signal
The drinking comment is her describing a preference, not a rule she expects you to follow. People who say "not a big drinker" in a profile often just want to head off a bar date before it gets suggested. The brunch line tells you what she would actually say yes to. It's the more useful half of the message, and it's the part worth building on.
Read the whole prompt answer as one thing: she wants a relaxed, daytime, low-pressure first meeting with some good food and a walk. That's a complete picture. You don't need to ask her to explain her relationship with alcohol, and you shouldn't guess at why she feels that way. Taking her at her word is the most respectful and most useful response.
Pick up the plan, not the drinking
Your reply should mention brunch or the daytime idea so she knows you read that part. A reply that says something like "brunch sounds great, I know a place with a decent patio" does more work than any statement about what you drink. It answers her preference and gives her something concrete to say yes or no to.
Keep the reply short enough that it feels easy to respond to. One clear observation, one proposal, and maybe a simple question about timing. If you're already comfortable enough to suggest a specific place, do that. If not, offer two windows instead of an open-ended "we should get brunch sometime," which tends to stall.
Let the match cool before you send the date
If the conversation is already going, a same-day reply is fine. If this is a first message on the match, don't send a flood of texts after she answers. Give it a few hours, or until the next day, then send your reply. A message that arrives at a normal hour reads as interest. One sent at midnight after you've been refreshing the app can read as more eager than you want.
If she doesn't answer the brunch proposal within a few days, send one light follow-up that references the same idea, something like checking whether Saturday or Sunday works better. If she still doesn't respond, let it go. Silence after a clear, friendly invitation is an answer. Stop there rather than sending a third message or switching to a different platform.
Why these replies fail
“Cool, I'm not much of a drinker either! Brunch it is, but honestly I'd love to hear more about why you don't drink.”
It asks her to justify a simple preference and turns the reply into a probe about her relationship with alcohol.
“Brunch is great! We should definitely do that sometime. Also a drink later?”
It agrees to brunch in name only and then immediately slides back to drinks, which undoes the plan she just offered.
“Love that you're into brunch. What's your favorite thing to order? And what are you up to this weekend? Also where do you live?”
Three unrelated questions in one message make her choose which to answer, and none of them moves toward meeting.
Common mistakes
- Treating the drinking line as a red flag or a test you have to pass
- Mentioning your own drinking at length, which turns the conversation into a comparison
- Replying with a generic compliment and skipping the brunch detail entirely
- Suggesting a bar or evening drinks as the next step anyway
- Asking three questions in one message so she has to choose which one to answer
Questions people ask
- Should I mention that I don't drink much too?
- Only if it comes up naturally and you can say it in a line. If you mention it, keep it brief and move straight to the brunch plan. Making it a shared talking point can pull the conversation toward the topic she was trying to sidestep. Focus on the daytime idea, which is the part she actually asked for.
- What if she says she's not a big drinker but doesn't mention brunch in her reply to me?
- Then go with the most concrete daytime option you can offer, like coffee or a lunch with a walk afterward. Brunch was just one example of the relaxed format she likes. Propose something similar in a specific place and time so she can respond easily.
- How long should I wait before suggesting a date after she mentions brunch?
- If you're already messaging, a few hours is plenty. If the match is new, give it a day so the proposal doesn't feel rushed. Pick a specific day within the next week or so. Waiting much longer than that tends to cool the conversation.
- Is it a bad sign if she only says she likes brunch and doesn't seem excited about meeting?
- Not necessarily. Some people are more reserved in text and warm up in person. A clear, friendly proposal is the right test. If she answers with a plan or a time, you're moving forward. If she keeps the chat going without committing to anything after a couple of tries, that tells you enough.
What people say after using WingAI
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“I'm busy and half the profiles give you almost nothing to work with. WingAI gets me a solid first line fast without me staring at the screen for ten minutes.”
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