How to reply when she says she's open to meeting but keeps getting busy

Look at what she does across the whole thread, not just the last message. Does she reply the same day when you message, or does it take her a day or two? Does she ask you questions back, or does the conversation mostly run on your initiative? A person who is busy but interested will usually still be warm in text, even if the calendar keeps breaking. A person who has cooled will often get shorter, slower, and less curious about your life, and the apologies will feel more like a formality than a real attempt to reschedule.

The apology itself tells you less than it seems. Lots of people apologise sincerely and still don't follow through. Judge by whether she suggests a new time herself or waits for you to do all the work. If she's the one proposing dates, the busy-ness is probably real and the interest is too. If you're always the one reopening the question, that's useful information even if you don't yet know why.

After a cancellation, a reply that is kind and specific works best. It acknowledges the change without treating it as a crisis, and it gives her one clear option instead of a list. The shape is: you're fine with it, here's one concrete time that works for you, and she can just take it or say another day. Keep it short enough that replying yes costs her almost nothing.

If she's been warm in text but hasn't offered any dates, a lighter reply can ask her to pick a window rather than a time, such as a weekday evening or a Saturday afternoon. That gives her a way in without making her commit to a specific slot she might dodge. Avoid anything that reads as a formal request for an explanation. Leave out words like always, never, or every time, because they turn a scheduling problem into a complaint about her.

Send your message when you'd be happy to get a plain answer back, not when you're annoyed or lonely. Late-night messages about the plans you keep missing read as needy even when they're not meant that way. A reply sent the next day, after the disappointment has settled, almost always comes across as more relaxed and more confident.

Give her a few days to respond before you send another nudge. If she goes quiet after you suggest a concrete time, wait about three days and then send one short follow-up that doesn't reference the silence. If that also gets nothing back, or she replies with another vague maybe, you have your answer. Stop reopening the conversation, leave the door open in one line if you want, and move your attention to the people who are actually making time.