How to Reply When She Says She's Flattered But Still Getting Over Someone

"I'm flattered" followed by "still getting over someone" is a clear signal with a timeline attached. She is not saying never. She is saying the emotional space is occupied, and she is trying to be considerate about it. Notice that she gave you a reason that is about her, not about you. That usually means you are not the problem, and arguing with her reason will not change it.

Don't try to decode whether she still loves the ex or whether she's using it as an excuse. Either way, your job is the same. Take the answer at face value. People who are actually still attached often need time, and people who are using it as a polite exit will not reopen the door because you asked twice. Both situations resolve the same way: you keep the door unlocked and stop leaning on it.

The temptation is to ask one more question, like "how long ago was it?" or "are you two talking?" Those questions feel like care, but they put her back in the position of managing your feelings about her history. The move that works is to answer what she said, briefly, and let the conversation close on a warm note. A short acknowledgement that you understand and respect that, and a light closing line, does more than a follow-up question.

If you have a real interest in staying in touch, make that clear by the way you close. Mention that you enjoyed talking to her, or that you'd like to keep in touch, without setting up a plan or a deadline. That gives her a low-pressure way to come back, which she can take when she's ready without feeling cornered.

What you do after the reply carries the most weight. If you leave a few days or a week before you say anything else, she has room to feel that you were respectful and not hovering. If you message again within a day, even with something friendly, it reads as pressure, and she will likely feel she has to manage you. Pick a point roughly a week or two out and send one light message that has nothing to do with dating, like a link to something she mentioned or a quick hello tied to a shared interest.

If she answers warmly, you can keep things casual and see where it goes. If she answers briefly or not at all, let it rest. Do not send a second check-in asking if she's okay. One soft contact after a clear reply is enough, and anything beyond that tells her you were not listening.