How to reply when he sends mixed signals about liking you

Mixed signals have a rhythm. He reaches out after days of silence. You respond. He's engaged for a conversation or two, then goes quiet for longer. He texts when he's bored or drinking. He sends memes or questions but never makes plans. He's warm about his feelings but cold about his time. This isn't random. It means he's interested in you as an option but not interested enough to do the work of actual dating. He wants the feeling of connection without the commitment. The inconsistency isn't because he's conflicted. It's because he's testing how much attention he can get with how little effort. Your job is to read whether this is someone who needs a push toward commitment or someone who will always keep you second-string.

A good reply does two things at once. First, it responds to the actual message in front of you without pretending the pattern doesn't exist. Don't ignore his texts or be cold. But do match substance with substance. If he sends something low-effort, your reply should require more from him than small talk. Second, it stops confirming that he can get your attention and affection whenever he wants. Right now the pattern works because you're always available, always warm, always trying. Your reply should make it clear that consistency matters to you. This doesn't mean playing games or being rude. It means not pretending the hot-and-cold thing is normal. It means responding in ways that make the next move his responsibility, not yours.

Give him one cycle. One cycle is roughly two weeks. In that time you reply once or twice to his messages in a way that's warm but not eager. You do not text him first. You watch whether his effort goes up when you pull back or stays exactly the same. If it stays the same, you have your answer. Mixed signals plus no change when you step back means he's comfortable with the arrangement and won't shift unless forced. At that point, stop replying to messages that don't have real substance. If he actually liked you, the silence would bother him. If the silence doesn't bother him, that tells you everything. Do not text him first to test this. Do not send a long message about how you feel. Just let his effort, or lack of it, speak.