Plan a first date when she only wants to hang at her place

Most people who want a real relationship will meet you somewhere public for a first date. It's safer for her, it's less awkward, and it shows she sees you as worth the effort. When she suggests her place instead, she's either nervous about meeting a stranger in public, which is totally fair, or she's signaling that she's not invested enough to go out. Sometimes both things live in the same yes. The at-home suggestion also kills the structure that makes first dates easier. Coffee or drinks gives you an exit if things are weird. Sitting on someone's couch does not.

Your reply needs to do two things at once. First, say no to the at-home plan without making her feel rejected or stupid for asking. Second, offer a real alternative that's low-pressure enough that saying yes is easy for someone who actually wants to meet you. Don't negotiate or ask permission. Just be clear: 'I'm looking for a proper first date' or 'I'd rather grab coffee first.' Then name one specific thing. One place, one type of venue. Let her choose the time or offer a specific day. If she says no or disappears, you have your answer. No need to keep trying.

Reply when you see the at-home suggestion, or within the same day if you're already texting. Don't overthink the timing. Send it during daylight hours, not at midnight. After you send, give her three days to answer. If she likes the idea of meeting you out, she'll either say yes to your plan or counter with something that works better for her. If she doesn't answer in three days, send one more text in another 48 hours asking if she's free on a specific day. After that, stop. She's either not interested in a real date or she's not interested in you. Either way, you're done.