Message him that you want real questions about yourself
How to tell him you want him to ask about you. Make him do the work of getting to know you instead of carrying the conversation.
He's been messaging you but only talking about himself, making jokes, or asking surface stuff like 'how was your day'. He's not digging in. You're tired of being the one who keeps things going and wants him to actually care about who you are.
A good message here does two things. It calls out the pattern without sounding bitter. And it makes asking about you feel like his idea, not a chore you're assigning him. You're not asking permission to be interesting. You're telling him you respond to someone who's curious.
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Try for freeOne-way convos signal he's not that invested
If he's been texting for days or weeks but never asks about your job, your family, what you're actually into, or what's going on in your life, that's a clear signal. He's either using you as a sounding board, he's low-effort, or he's not sure if he likes you enough to get deeper.
The fact that you're noticing it means you've probably been answering his stuff, sharing pieces of yourself, and getting nothing back. That imbalance is what you're reacting to, and it's worth naming. Guys who are actually interested ask questions. They want to know what makes you tick.
Show interest by making him work for yours
A good message here flips the dynamic. Instead of asking him to do better, you're signalling that you reward curiosity with your actual time and energy. You're saying 'I'm worth asking about, and if you want me engaged, you need to meet me halfway.'
The move is to be direct about what you want without being accusatory. Tell him you like talking to people who are interested in learning about you, not just in being entertained or having a captive audience. Then step back. Let him feel the weight of the next move being on him.
Send it while things are still light, then wait
Don't send this message when he's just said something annoying or when you're frustrated. Send it during a natural lull, when the conversation feels flat, or at the end of a day where you've done most of the talking. Your tone should be calm and matter-of-fact, not cold.
After you send it, don't follow up for at least 24 hours. If he responds with actual curiosity, he'll ask you something real. If he ignores it or pivots back to his stuff, you have your answer about how much he actually cares. If nothing changes after a week, it's time to move on. People show you what they're willing to do when you name what matters to you.
Why these replies fail
“lol why do you never ask me anything about myself?”
The lol makes it seem like you're not serious, so he'll think you're just joking around and won't take it as a real boundary.
“I really like getting to know people and I think it's important that we both share about ourselves equally, don't you think?”
Too much explanation and asking for agreement makes you sound unsure of what you want and gives him an easy out.
“You should ask me about my job, my family, my hobbies, and what I actually care about instead of just telling me jokes all day”
Listing what he should ask feels bossy and turns actual interest into a homework assignment he'll resent.
Common mistakes
- Being too soft about it, so he doesn't realize you're actually annoyed and just keeps doing the same thing
- Listing all the questions he should be asking, which makes him feel quizzed instead of curious
- Saying 'I want you to ask me questions' which sounds needy instead of like a boundary
- Waiting too long to say it, so the pattern is already set and he thinks you're changing the rules
- Sending it when you're upset, so it lands as passive aggressive instead of real
Questions people ask
- What if he says 'okay, what do you want me to ask you?'
- Don't make a list. Pick one thing you actually want to talk about and go from there. If he has to be told what to ask, he's still not curious. Real interest means he'll think of something on his own.
- Should I give him another chance if he doesn't change?
- One message is fair. Give him a week to show he's heard you. If he's still doing the same thing, he's telling you this is how he texts. People who want to know you will ask.
- What if he gets defensive?
- Defensiveness means he knows he wasn't trying hard. Don't argue about it or over-explain yourself. Just say you need someone more curious and let it go. His reaction tells you everything.
- Is it weird to tell a guy you want him to ask you questions?
- No. You're setting a boundary, not being demanding. People who are interested in you will appreciate that you're being clear about what you need. If he thinks it's weird, he's probably not your person.
What people say after using WingAI
“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
Sam R.
“Used it for a couple hours and set up a date the same night. Not even kidding.”
Nikola2214
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
Mazoonx
Get replies that sound like you
Screenshot the conversation in WingAI. It reads the vibe and gives you natural replies for this exact situation.
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