How to ask him if he wants exclusivity before things progress

This conversation only makes sense if you've already spent real time together. That means weeks of regular contact, not three casual dates. You need enough history that he's made some kind of choice to keep seeing you, even if he hasn't said it out loud.

You're asking because something has shifted. Maybe he's hinting at a future or acting like a boyfriend, but he hasn't actually said the words. Or maybe you're the one starting to feel like this matters, and you need to know if he's on the same page before you go deeper.

The key sign you're ready for this message: you're about to do something that increases your investment (meet his friends, sleep over regularly, delete your apps). That's when you need clarity. If you're asking just to feel secure or because he's been distant, you might be asking too early.

Your message needs to be short and direct. Name what you want (exclusivity) and ask where he stands. No long preamble about your feelings or history. No softening language like 'I was just wondering' or 'whenever you get a chance.' Those make it sound optional.

Speak in present tense about what you need, not what you're afraid of. Say 'I need to know if you want to be exclusive' instead of 'I'm scared you're seeing other people.' The first one is about you taking care of yourself. The second one sounds like you're insecure.

Give him a clear exit route if he's not ready. Don't ask 'you do want to be exclusive, right' like it's a yes-or-no trap. Ask it as an actual question where both answers are possible. That sounds more honest and gives him permission to tell you the truth instead of the answer he thinks you want.

Send it during the day when you're both likely to be in a normal headspace. Not Sunday at 11pm or during a conversation where he's already distracted. Give him at least a few hours to think before you expect an answer, but not so long that you're waiting around obsessing about it.

If he doesn't reply within 24 hours, that's information. It usually means he's uncomfortable or avoiding the answer. You can send one follow-up like 'let me know what you think when you have a moment' but after that, you're chasing him. Don't do that.

If he replies with something vague like 'I really like you' or 'let's see where this goes,' that's him avoiding the question. You can ask once more, more directly: 'That's good to hear, but I'm asking if you want to be exclusive.' If he still won't give you a straight yes or no, you have your answer. It's no. People who want what you want don't hesitate to say it.