He gets irritated when you text during work: what to do

Start by looking at what he actually said or did. A flat 'can't talk now' is a timing complaint. A sarcastic line about you always being on your phone is a comment about how often you reach him. A sudden cold stretch after a long run of warm texts could mean something else entirely, like stress or a bad day. Each of these calls for a different response, so do not assume the worst from one reaction.

Notice whether he brings it up only during work hours or also at night. If the irritation fades when he is off shift and the two of you talk normally, the issue is almost certainly his workday rather than the relationship. If the coolness carries over into evenings and weekends, that tells you something about how he handles closeness and attention more generally.

Pay attention to how quickly he returns to normal. People who are simply busy come back warm within a day or so. People who keep the chill going for a week are using silence to make a point, and you should weigh that against how much effort you are putting in.

A good reply to this kind of irritation has to do three things. The first is to acknowledge his workday without over-explaining. A short line showing you know he is busy lets him relax. Keep it light and don't dwell on how you felt about being snapped at.

The second move is to make your texting easy to fit around his schedule. Ask him, once and simply, when he would like you to reach him. People often don't mind contact at all; they mind unpredictable contact. Once he tells you his preference, you can follow it without it becoming an ongoing negotiation.

The third move is to keep the rest of the conversation normal. If you turn the next exchange into a discussion about the work texting, he will feel like he is being managed. Let the topic close and go back to the ordinary warmth you were building before.

After you have sent one considerate message, wait. Give him the rest of the workday, which in practice means several hours if he is on a normal schedule, and don't send a second text just to check whether he saw the first. If he was busy, he will reply when he has a break, and that reply will tell you more than anything you could draft.

If there is still no reply the following day, one short follow-up is reasonable, something that doesn't reference the earlier irritation. After that, stop. Silence after two reasonable attempts is an answer, and continuing to chase it turns a minor timing issue into a pattern you will both feel uncomfortable with.

Stop sooner if he responds with more irritation, insults, or a lecture about your behavior. Someone who makes ordinary contact feel like a violation is not offering the kind of relationship that makes a few missed texts worth fixing.