How to get her number when she says she's rarely on her phone during the day

When she says she rarely checks her phone during the day, she's almost always describing a real pattern. She might work somewhere she can't look at her phone, have a job where her attention is elsewhere, or simply be someone who puts the phone down and forgets about it. Taking that at face value is the most useful thing you can do. The second thing she's doing is watching how you respond. If you suddenly ask for more daytime availability or sound a bit let down, she learns that the phone habit is going to be a point of friction. If you adjust quietly and keep the conversation warm, she learns that she can be herself with you. You don't need her to change anything. You need to make the number exchange easy for the version of her that exists.

The cleanest version of this is a single message that does two things: it acknowledges what she said in a sentence, and it makes the number exchange feel like the natural next step. Your reply should be short enough that it doesn't feel like a negotiation. You're not asking her to promise she'll answer, you're offering her a way to reach you that doesn't depend on when she checks her phone. There are a couple of shapes that work well here. One is to take her habit as the reason to switch to a different channel, since it's easier to talk in the evening. The other is to suggest the number as something she can send whenever she gets around to it, so there's no pressure on timing. What both shapes leave out is any question about her schedule, any comment about how long she takes to reply, and any extra justification for why you want the number.

If she doesn't reply during the day, that's expected, so don't read it as a rejection. Send your message in the evening, when she's likely to see it, and then leave it alone until the next evening. If she replies the next evening, you're on track. If she doesn't reply for two or three evenings in a row, it's time to stop, because the habit she described is now a pattern that is costing you real time. Don't send a follow-up that says you're confused or hurt. Don't send one that asks whether she got your message. One gentle check-in is fine, and then move on. The goal is to end up with the number or with a clear no, not a long stretch of waiting that you spend thinking about her phone habits.