Get her number after she mentions wanting to try trivia night
She's hinting at an activity she wants to do. Use that signal to propose a plan and ask for her number before the conversation dies.
When someone says they've been wanting to try trivia night, they're doing two things at once: sharing something they enjoy and leaving an opening for you to suggest it together. This is a soft invitation, not a firm commitment yet. The gap between "I've been wanting to" and actually going is where most conversations stall out.
Your job is to close that gap by treating her comment as the start of a plan, not just small talk. The move is to acknowledge what she said, propose a specific trivia night, and ask for her number so you can actually make it happen. This shifts the interaction from texting into real life, which is where attraction either builds or fades.
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When she mentions an activity she wants to try, she's opened a door
This isn't vague small talk. She's telling you about something she actually cares about doing, which means she's already halfway to saying yes if you ask her to do it with you. The specificity matters. If she just wanted to chat, she'd pick a safer topic. The fact that she chose something that requires planning and a partner is a signal.
Read it as: I want to do this thing, and I'm telling you because you're someone I could potentially do it with. Your move is to treat it that way. Don't make it harder by pretending you need more information about her or more time to build rapport. You have what you need.
Turn her interest into a concrete plan before asking for her number
The ask for her number works only if she can see exactly what she's saying yes to. Name the specific trivia night, bar, or venue. Pick a real day like Thursday or next Tuesday, not "sometime soon." This gives her something to picture, and it makes the number request feel like the obvious next step instead of a random pivot.
The order matters. First acknowledge her comment directly. Then propose the specific plan. Then ask for her number to lock it in. Don't ask for the number and then figure out the details in a follow-up text. By then she might have cooled off or gotten distracted.
Send your message soon after she brings it up, and expect an answer within a few hours
Momentum is real. If she mentions trivia night and you wait six hours to reply, the moment has passed. Get your response in within an hour or two, while the idea is still fresh in her head and she's still thinking about doing it.
After you send your plan and ask for her number, wait a reasonable amount of time for her to respond, usually 4-8 hours during normal waking hours. If she doesn't answer by the next day, send one follow-up that assumes she might have missed it. After that, move on. If she's interested, she'll respond. If she doesn't after a follow-up, she's not interested enough right now.
Why these replies fail
“oh cool! what kind of trivia do you like? general knowledge or like sports and stuff?”
Keeps the conversation in chat mode instead of moving toward a plan. You're interviewing her instead of asking her out.
“nice! we should totally do that sometime”
Vague and noncommittal. There's no specific plan and no number ask, so she has no reason to move the conversation forward.
“that sounds awesome. can i get your number?”
The ask comes out of nowhere without a plan attached. She doesn't know what she's saying yes to, so it feels sudden or presumptuous.
Common mistakes
- Staying in the chat and asking follow-up questions about trivia instead of proposing a plan
- Saying you'll go "sometime" without naming a specific day or asking for her number
- Waiting too long to bring up the number, letting the conversation drift to other topics
- Asking for her number without making the trivia plan feel real first
- Treating it as a conversation about trivia instead of an opportunity to make plans
Questions people ask
- What if I don't know where the trivia nights are in my area?
- Look it up quick before you send the message. Most bars post their trivia schedules online or on social media. Pick one that fits a realistic day and time. If you can't find one, ask her "where were you thinking of going?" in your message, then follow up with her number ask once she gives you a spot.
- Should I give her my number instead of asking for hers?
- No. Asking for her number puts her in the position of taking action and confirming interest. If you give yours, she has to decide to text you, which adds friction. Ask directly. If she's interested, she'll give it. If she's not, you'll find out immediately instead of waiting.
- How specific does the trivia plan need to be?
- Specific enough that she can picture it. Name the venue or type of venue, name the night, and ideally mention a time. You don't need to book anything yet, but she needs to know you're serious and have thought it through.
- What if she gives me her number but then doesn't respond when I text her?
- Wait until the next day and send one message with a specific time and place for the trivia night. Use the number she gave you directly, not another platform. If she doesn't respond after that, she's not interested. Accept it and move forward.
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