Define the relationship over text when he goes silent

When you ask where things stand and get nothing back for 2-4 days, he's already answered. Not with words, but with action. He either doesn't want the same commitment you do, or he's not ready to say it out loud. Guys who want to be with you find a way to respond, even if that response is 'I need a few days to think' or 'Can we talk about this in person?'

The silence doesn't mean he needs more time to fall for you or that he'll suddenly text back if you wait longer. It means he saw the question, felt uncomfortable with the stakes, and chose not to engage. That's the data point. Don't reinterpret it as confusion or shyness. Accept it as his initial preference to avoid the conversation.

Your move here is to send one final, short text that acknowledges he didn't respond and gives him a clear choice. Don't ask him again where this is going. Instead, state what you need and make it easy for him to either step up or step back.

The message should be direct enough that he can't misread it as you softening your position. It should also be short enough that he doesn't feel lectured. The goal is to show you're not going to sit around waiting for him to figure it out, and that you respect yourself enough to move forward whether he does or not. This resets the power dynamic. You asked. He dodged. Now you're setting the terms of what comes next.

After your one follow-up text, wait 3 to 5 days. Not a week. Not two weeks. 3 to 5 days is long enough for him to think and respond if he actually wants to. If nothing comes back in that window, you have your answer. He's not going to suddenly text you a thoughtful response on day 8. He's made his choice.

At that point, you're not waiting anymore. You can stay in touch casually, but you're dating other people and you're not investing in him the same way. You're not reaching out, not making plans, not checking in. You've asked the real question. He didn't answer. That's the end of this chapter. Move.