Ask for real dates instead of late night hangouts

Late night texts and 10 PM meetups rarely happen by accident. This person is choosing a time and setup that requires minimal planning, zero daytime visibility, and no real commitment. They're also testing whether you'll show up regardless of the conditions. What you're reading as casual is actually a message: you're convenient, not a priority. The person might like you fine. They might even sleep with you. But they're signaling they haven't decided to pursue you as a dating prospect. They're keeping the door open, not opening it. That pattern won't change on its own. People who want to date you make daylight plans and introduce you to their life.

After you ask for real dates, pay attention to what actually happens, not what they say. Someone who steps up will suggest a specific time and place within a few days. Someone who's interested but busy will acknowledge the message and name a realistic window. Someone who isn't interested will either go silent, give a vague 'maybe sometime', or revert to late night texts as if you never said anything. This last group is betting you'll drop it. Don't interpret a deflection as a 'not yet'. People who want to date you don't need to be convinced. They move toward you when you move toward them.

Send the message during daytime hours, ideally when you're not currently hanging out or have just wrapped up a meetup. You want distance and clarity, not the heat of the moment. Give them at least three days to respond. If they suggest a real date, great. Confirm it. If they go quiet or repeat the late night pattern, don't send follow-ups or soften the message. Silence is an answer. If they explicitly say they're not looking for a relationship, believe them and move on. The point of this conversation is to stop wasting time on someone who hasn't decided about you. Once you've named what you want, you know where you stand.