Tell her you want real effort, not just words

When someone texts you compliments but doesn't plan dates, or says she wants to see you more but cancels twice, she's showing you something specific. Words are easy. They cost nothing and take thirty seconds. Actions cost time, emotional risk, and coordination. When the words and actions don't match, she's either not interested enough to prioritize you, or she's comfortable getting your attention and validation without having to earn it. Neither one is a relationship. The gap between what she says and what she does is the real message. Pay attention to that gap, not to the words that fill it.

The move here is to name what you're seeing as a pattern, not as a character flaw. Don't say she's fake or that she's lying. Instead, describe the specific thing you've noticed. Maybe it's that compliments come in texts but plans come from you. Maybe it's the canceling pattern. Maybe it's that she responds warmly but never starts a conversation. Then connect it to what you actually need. You're not asking her to be a different person. You're saying that for this to go anywhere, the effort has to match the words. Make it clear you've been paying attention and that you're not okay with the current setup. Give her the space to actually do something different, not to explain why the pattern exists.

Bring this up after you've seen the pattern repeat at least twice. One cancellation isn't a pattern. Two compliments with no follow-up isn't enough to call out. But if you've noticed it three or four times over a few weeks, you have evidence. Send the message when you're calm, not right after another disappointment. Then wait. If she responds by actually changing her behavior in the next one to two weeks, you have something. If she makes excuses, promises to do better but doesn't, or goes silent, that's your answer. Don't have the conversation twice. One honest call-out is fair. After that, you're watching actions only.