Tell him you need more consistent interest, not sporadic messages

When someone messages you days apart with no pattern, it usually means you're not top of mind. He's reaching out when he remembers, when he's bored, or when something reminds him of you. That's different from someone who thinks about you regularly and makes contact part of his routine. The gap between messages tells you something: either he's not prioritizing you, or he doesn't understand that you need to feel like he does. Most guys who aren't that interested will defend the sporadic pattern as just their communication style. But consistent interest looks like regular check-ins, asking follow-up questions about things you mentioned, and making concrete plans rather than vague suggestions. You're noticing the difference, and that's not you being needy. It's you reading the actual data.

His reply needs to do two things at once. First, it has to show that he heard you and understands what you're asking for. He should demonstrate that he knows the difference between randomly pinging you and showing up with intention. If he responds with 'I'll text more,' that's the bare minimum. If he responds with something that shows he gets why it matters to you specifically, that's better. Second, his reply needs to contain some form of agreement or commitment to change. Not a promise that he'll be perfect, but a statement that he's willing to show up differently. Watch for whether he makes it about your needs or shifts it to his own limitations. A response that says 'I see why you need that' moves toward you. A response that says 'I'm just bad at texting' or 'I'm not a phone person' dodges the actual request.

Send the message when you have time to wait for a response without spiraling. Don't send it when you're angry or when you've had three days of silence and snapped. Give him one full week to show a different pattern. One week means you see actual behavior change, not one good day and then back to the old pattern. If after one week things revert to sporadic, you have your answer. You've stated the need clearly, and he's shown you it's not a priority. At that point, the question isn't 'how do I bring this up again' but 'is this someone I want to keep investing in.' You don't need to send a follow-up message about the follow-up. You just need to decide whether inconsistent effort is acceptable to you. Most of the time, if someone cares enough, one conversation is enough.