Tell him his lack of questions makes you feel like a backup plan

When someone doesn't ask about your day, your work, your family, or what matters to you, your brain reads it as indifference. Not disinterest in small talk. Indifference about whether you exist as a full person. A backup plan is someone who fills the gap when nothing better is happening. They don't need to know you. They're convenient.

Maybe he's just bad at conversation or wrapped up in his own stuff. That happens. But you're not imagining the signal his questions send. The absence of questions is data. It tells you how much space you occupy in his thoughts when you're not right in front of him. And right now, that space feels small.

First, separate the real issue from the surface behavior. The problem is not that he asks zero questions. The problem is that you feel disposable. Frame it that way. Use your own experience as the evidence, not his failings. Say what it makes you feel, not what he's doing wrong.

Second, give him room to actually respond instead of defending. This is not the time to list every question he never asked. Ask one clean question back so he has to think about whether he wants to change this. Third, watch for whether he takes it seriously. Does he get defensive. Does he dismiss your feeling. Does he actually try. His response tells you everything.

Send this when you're calm and not in the middle of him ignoring you. Not right after a conversation where he asked nothing. Wait a day or two so it lands as a real concern, not a reactive complaint. Do it over text or in person, but pick something that feels natural to your relationship.

Give him at least a few days to respond and shift his behavior. If he asks questions after this talk, that matters. If he apologizes but nothing changes, you have your answer. If he gets angry or makes you feel guilty for bringing it up, that's information too. You're not asking for the impossible. You're asking if he cares enough to try. His actions will show you.