How to ask her to define the relationship status

Vague language about status is rarely accidental. When someone says 'let's see where it goes' or changes the subject, she is making a choice to keep her options open or avoid a commitment she is not ready for. This is different from someone who simply hasn't thought about it yet. She has noticed the relationship developing and is actively deciding not to name it. Sometimes she does this because she likes the attention but is not sure about you long-term. Sometimes she is hedging against getting hurt. Sometimes she is keeping other options warm. The specific reason matters less than this: her vagueness is information. It tells you she is not willing to move forward clearly, and that will not change unless you force the conversation out into the open.

A clear ask does two things at once. First, it states exactly what you need without softening the request so much that she can pretend she did not hear it. Do not use phrases like 'if you ever feel like talking' or 'no pressure, but'. Those are invitations to dodge. Instead, name the specific situation: you have been spending time together for X weeks or months, and you need to know if she sees this going somewhere or not. Second, your message must show you are calm about the possible answers. If you sound desperate or angry, she will focus on managing your emotions instead of answering honestly. You are stating a boundary, not issuing an ultimatum. The tone should be straightforward and low-key, like you are discussing something practical rather than fighting.

Do not rehearse this conversation in your head for weeks. That gives you time to build it up as bigger than it is and makes you more nervous when you actually ask. Send your message within the next few days while things are still fresh. Do not do this in person if you can help it. Text or a call gives both of you time to think and reply thoughtfully. Then wait at least two full days for a response. If she comes back with another vague answer or does not respond at all, you have your answer. You do not ask again or add more explanation. If she truly wants things to stay undefined after you asked clearly, you are dealing with someone who will not give you what you need. That is when you decide whether to accept her terms or move on.