Ask her if she wants to invest in making this work

By the time you're asking this question, you've already seen the pattern. She cancels plans. She takes hours or days to text back. She talks about herself mostly. She's never suggested doing something that takes planning. These aren't mysteries. They're data.

She might have been into you early and cooled off. She might like the attention but not want the work. She might be seeing someone else or waiting for someone else. The why doesn't matter as much as the fact that effort is one-sided. When she actually wants to invest, you see it in what she does, not just what she says. This question is just you asking her to confirm what you already suspect or to prove you wrong.

The move here is to say what you're looking for first, clearly. Not as a question about her. As a statement about you. Then you invite her to tell you if she wants the same thing.

Something like: 'I'm looking for something real. I need to know if you are too.' Or: 'I like you but I don't want to keep wondering if this is going somewhere. Do you see potential here?' You're not asking her to prove herself. You're saying what matters to you and asking if she's on the same page. That takes pressure off her and makes it easier for her to be honest. If she says no or 'I don't know,' that's a real answer, not a rejection of you.

Send the message when you have time to actually be present. Not at midnight. Not right before work. Somewhere you can think straight if she responds quickly.

Then wait. A real answer takes time. She might need to think about it or talk to someone. If it's been three days and you've heard nothing, send one follow-up. Keep it short: 'No pressure, just want to know where your head is at.' After that, you have your answer, even if she never types it. Silence is a choice too. If you don't hear back by day five or six, move on. She's not going to suddenly become committed just because you asked nicely.