Ask about their dating app use without sounding suspicious

When someone is still active and messaging multiple people, it usually means they haven't decided on anyone yet. That's just how the app works. If they mention being selective or taking breaks, they may be narrowing things down. If they say they're barely on it anymore, that's often a signal they're either close to deleting it or have already found someone. Pay attention to whether they bring up the app themselves or avoid mentioning it. People who are losing interest in the app often hint at it naturally. People still shopping tend to keep it casual.

Your job is to ask the question directly without loading it with judgment. Say something that treats their app use as a normal thing everyone does, not a betrayal. The second move is to make it easy for them to be honest. If you act like you already know they're talking to others and you're fine with it, they won't get defensive. You're also establishing that you care about knowing where things stand. Don't pretend you don't care. You do. That's fine. Just ask like an adult asking another adult about their life, not like you're interrogating them.

Bring it up after you've had a few back-and-forth exchanges and know they're actually responding. Asking on day one is too intense. Asking after three weeks of chatting without mentioning it signals you were avoiding the topic or you suddenly got possessive. If they don't answer directly, follow up once with a lighter version of the same question. If they dodge it twice, that's your answer and you can decide if you want to keep investing. Don't keep asking. Stop and wait to see if they make a move toward exclusivity on their own.