Ask about exclusivity over text or in person? How to decide

Before you pick text or in person, notice how she's been talking to you. Does she text you long, detailed things or quick responses? Is she the one bringing up plans or always waiting for you to suggest? Has she mentioned other people or made it clear she's not seeing anyone else?

If she's been straightforward about her life, her feelings, and what she wants, she'll probably handle a direct question well in either format. If she's been vague or scattered, or if she takes days to respond to anything emotional, texting might feel safer to her because she can think about her answer. If you've had real conversations and you see each other regularly, asking in person will feel more natural and less like a test.

The point is: you're not picking text or in person in a vacuum. You're picking based on the pattern you've already seen. If this person communicates clearly, either works. If she avoids directness, in person forces the answer.

A good move here does one or two things clearly. If you're texting, you name the thing directly without apology. Don't soften it with "I was wondering if maybe" or "At some point could we.". Say what you want. Then you wait for her answer without follow-up texts or nervous clarification.

If you're asking in person, your job is different. You're not texting her a question. You're suggesting a specific time and place to have the conversation, so she knows it's coming and can mentally prepare. Then when you're together, you actually start the talk without making it weird. You don't introduce it like you're about to break bad news. You just say it the same way you'd ask about her job or her family.

Text it during daylight hours on a weekday, not late evening. It lands differently. If you're texting, send it once and then actually wait. Not three days. Just wait. If she doesn't respond for more than a day, she's thinking or avoiding. Don't send another message. If she doesn't answer within two or three days, that's your answer.

If you're asking in person, send a normal invite to spend time together. Don't hint at the topic. Just set the time. When you're there, bring it up early, not at the end of the evening when you're both tired. If she deflects or changes the subject in person, you can press a little because you're there. Ask again. That's allowed. If she won't answer even when you push, that tells you something too.

Never keep texting after she goes silent, and never ask in person twice if she made it clear she doesn't want to talk about it. One good attempt is the rule.