How long should the talking stage last before meeting

When someone is still messaging you after two or three weeks without a date set, something is off. Either they want to meet you but are waiting for you to suggest it, or they have gotten comfortable with the conversation itself and stopped thinking about actual plans. The second one happens more often than you'd expect. Text can feel like progress when it is just back and forth repetition. You are both being pleasant, responding quickly, maybe even flirting a little. But no one is actually uncomfortable yet. No one has risked showing up in person. That comfort with messaging is exactly what prevents a date from forming. If you want to know whether someone is serious about meeting you, look at whether they are taking steps to make that happen. Vague interest in hanging out "sometime" is not the same as concrete planning. The talking stage extends when both people are avoiding the filter that in-person interaction creates.

Your reply needs to do two things at once. First, it should reference something specific from what they just said, to show you are actually reading and not just running through a script. This keeps the conversation feeling real and gives them a reason to keep writing back to you instead of three other matches. Second, it needs to create a natural opening for meeting. This does not mean demanding a date or being pushy. It means introducing something concrete you could do together, tied to something they mentioned about themselves or your area. If they said they like coffee, you can mention a place you have been meaning to try. If they said they work late, you can note that you are free on weekend mornings. You are not asking them out yet. You are testing whether they respond to a specific, doable suggestion. A good reply makes it obvious that you see them as a real person and that you are thinking about what meeting would actually look like.

Send your message during daytime or early evening, when people actually read and respond. If they do not reply within 24 hours, do not send a follow up. That silence is your answer. If they do reply but the response is short, generic, or does not move toward planning, send one more message that gently pushes for a time and place. "Would love to grab coffee Sunday morning if you are free" is direct without being aggressive. If that message also goes unanswered or gets a vague response like "maybe sometime", stop. You have given them two clear chances to move this forward. Continuing to message is just giving them free entertainment and keeping yourself stuck in the talking stage. People who want to meet you will respond to a concrete suggestion. The ones who do not are making their preference clear, even if they are not saying it out loud.