How long after talking should you be exclusive?

Look at how often you're seeing each other in person and how she talks about the future. If she's making plans two or three weeks out, mentioning things you'd do together, or introducing you to people in her life, she's probably already thinking of this as more than casual. If every plan is still tentative and she keeps her calendar loose, she may still be keeping options open. The number of dates matters less than whether the dates are getting more connected to each other. Texting volume is a weak signal on its own, because some people text constantly and still date several people at once.

Watch for small signs that she's already treating you as the person she's focused on, like remembering details from earlier conversations or asking about your week without prompting. Those signs don't prove anything, but they tell you whether the question will feel like a natural next step or an abrupt one.

When you do raise it, keep it short and specific to what you've actually been doing together. Something that names the time you've spent and asks her view works better than a broad question about what you are. Make it clear you're not asking her to commit to anything big, just telling her where you stand so she knows too. If you're open to other people, say so plainly, so she doesn't have to guess what you assume. If she says she's still seeing other people, don't argue or sulk. Thank her for being honest, and decide whether that's a pace you want.

Avoid asking in a text where a long reply is expected. A quick question in person, or a message sent when you both have time to talk later, gives her room to answer honestly without feeling put on the spot.

If she says yes or leans toward it, follow up by making plans that assume you're together, and stop checking in about other people. If she's unsure, don't push for a decision now. Keep seeing her if you're enjoying it, and revisit in a few weeks when you've had more time together. If she says she isn't looking for anything exclusive, decide whether that works for you before the next date, not during it. If you don't hear back after a reasonable gap, or she starts pulling back, it's fair to say you'd like to know where things stand and then let her answer. Continuing to ask the same question in new messages usually makes the situation harder to read, not clearer.