How do I message a girl I haven't talked to in a while?

A gap of a few weeks or months is almost always about life, not about you. She may have been busy, may have lost interest in the earlier conversation, or may just not have thought about it since. What matters is how she acted the last time you two talked. Did she ask questions, bring things back up, or let the thread die on her side too? If the last exchange was warm and ended naturally, you have an opening. If it fizzled out with one-word replies, expect a short answer and keep your message lighter. Check her profile for anything new, like a trip, a job change, or a new hobby. A current detail gives you something real to bring up without digging through the past.

Two kinds of message tend to work here. The first picks up a specific thread from your last conversation, like a restaurant she mentioned, a show she was watching, or a plan that was still open. It tells her you remembered her, and all she has to do is pick up where you left off. The second points at something current from her life, like a photo, a post, or a detail on her profile. That gives her a reason to answer without having to explain the gap. A good draft of either kind is short, has one real reference, and ends on something easy to reply to. Leave out any mention of how long it's been, any line about missing her, and any question that makes her justify the silence.

Send during the day, when she's probably free, not late at night when a message from someone she hasn't heard from in a while can feel like pressure. After you send, leave it alone for at least a day, and often two or three is better. If she replies, match her pace and energy instead of racing ahead. If she doesn't reply, send one short follow-up after a few days that stands on its own and doesn't treat the first message like a complaint. If you still get nothing, stop. Two tries with no reply is an answer. Chasing it turns a light reconnect into something she'll want to avoid.