How do I know if a girl wants to be FWB?

When a woman says she isn't looking for anything serious, she usually means she doesn't want the pressure of a relationship right now. It doesn't always mean she wants sex without any connection. Some women say it and then want a regular, warm thing with someone they like. Others mean it fully and want a casual arrangement with clear edges.

What tells you which is which is how she handles the next few exchanges. Does she ask you questions about your life, or only about your availability? Does she bring up the physical side first, or does she mention something about the two of you outside it? A woman who wants FWB often keeps the energy light and a little playful, and her messages are shorter. A woman who wants something more casual but still warm will stay curious about you and will share bits of her own life without being asked.

If she's clearly keeping things casual, the job for your reply is to agree to the tone without agreeing to every assumption. Keep your messages easy and short. Be warm, a little funny, and specific enough that she can tell you're paying attention. Then say what you want in a single plain line, so the truth is out there and she can respond to it.

Don't try to sound like you don't care. That reads as a test, and it tends to get a flat answer. Also don't push toward the thing you want in every message. Let her pick the pace on the physical side. If you're interested in more than casual, say so once, clearly, and then let her answer. If you're fine with casual, say that once too.

Reply within a few hours in the first day or two, while she's still deciding how she feels about you. If she sends something light at night, a reply the next afternoon is normal. If she doesn't answer after a clear, friendly message, wait two or three days before trying again, and keep the second message even lighter, with no pressure to meet.

If she goes quiet for more than a week after you've exchanged a few messages, take it as her answer. Don't send a third text asking if she's still interested. If she comes back later with a casual message, you can reply, but keep your expectations where they were before the silence.