How do I attract a crush over text?

A short message from her usually means she's busy, half paying attention, or testing how much you'll put in. A longer message with a story or a joke means she's relaxed and wants to hear back in kind. Before you write anything, look at what she gave you: did she ask you something, tell you about her day, or send a joke that needs a reaction more than an answer? If she asked a direct question, answer it and add one small thing she can respond to. If she told you a story, react to the part that sounds most interesting to you, because that's the part that tells her you were listening.

Pay attention to whether she's pulling you forward or just keeping the thread alive. If she keeps bringing up shared things or asks you about yourself, she's interested and can carry more back and forth. If every message she sends is a single word and the topics keep dying, the problem is usually that you're asking for too much effort from her. Give her one easy thing to answer and let the rhythm build from there.

Three shapes work well most of the time. The first is a light tease about something she said, which shows you were paying attention and gives her a chance to defend herself or laugh. The second is a specific question about her world, like asking what she was doing before the cereal or what the show she's watching is like, which is easier to answer than a generic how's your week. The third is a small share of your own life that invites her in, such as a small annoyance or a funny thing that happened, with a natural opening for her to reply.

You can tell a draft is one of these shapes if it leaves her with one clear thing to respond to. It should refer to something she actually wrote, not something you wish she'd said. What to leave out is the reassurance paragraph, the stacked questions, the long compliment, and any message that only makes sense if she already likes you. Those shapes make her work to figure out what you want from her.

If she replies quickly, you can usually reply on a similar timescale without it looking like you're waiting by the phone. Waiting a few hours is normal, and a day between replies is also fine if neither of you is pushing. What makes people look eager is replying within a minute every time, or sending a second message when she hasn't answered the first one. Let her have the last word sometimes and don't feel you need to fill every silence.

If she goes quiet for a day or two after a reasonable message, send one more light text that gives her an easy way back, like a link or a simple question. If she still doesn't reply, let it sit. Don't send a message asking whether she's still interested. When you stop, do it quietly and without a sign-off message that's really asking for a reaction. If the thread keeps dying after a couple of tries, it's probably not a timing problem, and the most useful move is to ask her to meet in person.