Am I flirting without realizing it

You know what you meant. She only knows what she got. Look at how she responds. Does she match your energy with longer messages and questions of her own? Or does she answer shortly, change the subject, or go quiet for a day? A woman who is into the flirting tends to add something back, tease you, or ask you something. A woman who is just being nice answers what you asked and stops there.

Also look at what she's flirting about, if anything. If she's sending you memes and asking about your plans, the energy is mutual. If every reply from her is a single line that ends the thread, your warmth is probably landing as more than she wants. Trust the pattern over one message.

When she's already pointed it out, answer the actual thing she said. If she says you're a lot over text, you can admit you're probably a bit keen and then shift to something lighter. Don't argue that you weren't flirting. Don't apologize at length. A short, honest line is enough, followed by a question or a plan that gives her an easy way to reply.

If she hasn't named it, you can still turn the heat down by slowing your message rate and dropping the most suggestive lines. Keep the humor. Cut the pet names and the compliments about her looks until you've met in person and she's shown she wants that.

Adjusting too fast reads as a mood swing. If you've been sending a lot, don't go from ten messages a day to nothing. Ease off over a few days so the change looks like you're just being normal. Reply when she messages, keep your messages a bit shorter, and let her set how often the thread moves.

If she keeps the conversation going at a steady pace, you're probably fine and can keep the playful tone. If she keeps letting it die or keeps replying with less each time, that's your answer about how much she wants to match you right now.