Opener for a Tinder match who wrote about her rescue cat

When someone writes about a rescue cat, she is usually telling you two things at once. The first is that she has a soft spot for animals and probably a bit of a story about how she got this one. The second is that she wants someone to notice that story. A rescue cat often comes with a detail like a parking garage, a shelter, a trip, or a habit that nobody else would have thought to mention. That detail is the hook.

Read the specifics before you respond. Notice the exact phrase she used, the age of the cat, and any small quirk she mentioned. Those are the things she expects to be picked up on. If she says the cat hides under the bed, that is a more useful thread than the fact that she likes cats. Your reply should show you read what she actually wrote, not just the category it belongs to.

There are a few kinds of opener that tend to fit this situation. One is a question about how the cat came to her, which lets her tell the rescue story in her own words. Another is a question about one of the quirks she mentioned, which lets her share something funny or sweet without needing to explain much. A third is a light comment that shows you noticed a detail and then hands the conversation back to her with an open question.

You can tell a draft fits the kind if it asks her to say more about something she already gave you, and if it would still make sense if she had never posted a photo. A draft has gone wrong if it grades the cat, like calling him cute or handsome in a way that could be a copied line, or if it tries to sum up her whole personality from one detail. Leave out any assumptions about her life beyond the cat, and leave out a request to meet until she has answered at least once.

A message about her cat is easiest to answer when she has time to think, so late afternoon to early evening usually works better than the middle of the night or a busy workday. Avoid sending right after you match if she is clearly active at that moment, because a quick message can feel rushed. Give her a day to reply before you assume anything about interest.

If she answers, match her length and keep the thread on the cat or the story she told. If she doesn't answer, leave it for at least three days before sending anything else, and make the next message a new question rather than a nudge. If she still does not reply after one follow-up, let the match go quiet. Continuing past that point reads as pressure and makes a second message harder to take well later on.