Is 'Hey How's It Going' a Good Opener? When It Works
When 'hey how's it going' works as a dating app opener and when it tanks. Learn what makes it land or crash.
The opener 'hey how's it going' is so common it barely registers. Most people sending it get ignored. But that doesn't mean it never works. The real question is whether you're sending it into a situation where she's already interested or where you're starting from zero.
If she's into you before the message arrives, this works fine. She'll respond because she wants to talk to you. If she has no reason to care yet, this opener gives her no reason to start. You're asking her to generate all the interest herself.
A working opener in this spot does one thing well: it gives her a real reason to write back. Not because the question is clever, but because you've shown you actually paid attention to who she is.
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Why generic greetings land flat on first contact
When someone gets this opener from a stranger, they're not reading it as a friendly check-in. They're reading it as a test to see if you're worth talking to. The message itself doesn't contain any information about you or why you texted her specifically.
She has no idea if you read her profile, if you're interested in her as a person, or if you're sending the same thing to five other matches right now. Generic questions create work for her. She has to do all the heavy lifting to keep the conversation going. That's why so many of these messages sit unanswered.
What changes when she already knows who you are
This opener works differently if you matched and she's already decided you're worth talking to. If she looked at your profile and felt something, she'll respond because she wants to hear from you. The words matter less when the interest is already there.
The move here is to not waste that goodwill. Open with this if it feels right, but have a real question or observation ready for the second message. Don't coast on the fact that she replied. Show her there's someone interesting on the other end of this conversation.
Sending something better when you need to build interest
If you're messaging someone cold who doesn't know you yet, skip this one. Reference something from her profile instead. Say you noticed she mentioned rock climbing or that you both went to the same school. Give her a reason to believe you actually looked at who she is.
The opener should make her think 'oh, this person reads profiles' instead of 'another generic hey'. You don't need anything clever. Just one true observation and a real question about it. That's the difference between a message she ignores and one she answers.
Why these openers fail
“hey how's it going”
Sends no signal that you read her profile or care about her specifically.
“hey how's it going? what's up?”
Asks the same question twice, which reads as low effort and makes replying feel pointless.
“hey how's it going? i think you're cute”
Mixes a generic opener with a compliment about looks, which feels like you didn't actually read anything about her.
Common mistakes
- Sending it cold to someone with no context or connection yet
- Using it as your opener when her profile has clear conversation hooks you ignored
- Waiting too long to send something with actual substance after this lands
- Sending the exact same greeting to multiple matches in a row
- Following up with another generic question when she doesn't reply
Questions people ask
- Will 'hey how's it going' ever get a response?
- Yes, if she's already interested in you. If she's not, probably not. The opener works best when the match already has momentum. If you're starting from cold, it almost never converts to a real conversation.
- What should I send instead if this doesn't work?
- Reference something specific from her profile. Mention an activity she listed, ask about a photo, or note something you have in common. Give her one real reason to believe you actually care about who she is instead of just trying to start a generic chat.
- How long should I wait for a response before sending a follow-up?
- Wait at least three days. If nothing comes back after that and you sent a generic opener, she's probably not interested. Don't send another message. If your first message actually had substance and referenced her profile, one follow-up after a week is fine. After that, move on.
- Does it matter what time I send this?
- Timing matters less than content for this opener. A generic message at noon lands the same way as one at 9pm. If you're using a generic greeting, the problem isn't when you send it. It's what you're sending.
What people say after using WingAI
“My openers used to be boring. Now I reference something from her profile and people actually write back.”
Aiden K.
“I always freeze on the first sentence. This gets me past that blank box so I actually hit send.”
joejoe4567
“I'm busy and half the profiles give you almost nothing to work with. WingAI gets me a solid first line fast without me staring at the screen for ten minutes.”
Ralph
Get openers that sound like you
Screenshot the conversation in WingAI. It reads the vibe and gives you natural openers for this exact situation.
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