Instagram DM opener for a wine enthusiast who posts tasting notes
How to open a DM to a girl who posts wine tasting notes. Read her posts, reference one specific pour, and ask something she'll want to answer.
She posts tasting notes, so she's already put her taste out there in public. She writes about what she noticed, what it reminded her of, and whether she'd buy it again. That gives you real material to work with. A DM that shows you read one of those notes lands very differently from one that just says you like wine too.
The trap is that wine is a topic everyone can claim. Plenty of guys have a bottle they like and a line about it, so a generic wine message disappears into the pile. What sets you apart is having a specific reaction to a specific pour she wrote about. Disagreeing with her description, asking how she'd pair it, or pointing out something in her note she didn't mention all show you were paying attention.
A good opener should make her want to reply with an actual opinion. Tasting notes are opinions, and people who write them tend to like being asked about them. The goal of the first message is a reply that gives you more to work with, not one that just says thanks.
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Her notes are the real signal, not the glass in the photo
The photo tells you she drinks wine. The caption tells you how she thinks about it. Someone who writes graphite, violet, and a green pepper finish is describing a specific experience and expecting readers to care about the details. So the most useful thing you can do is pick one detail from one note and respond to it directly.
Scan a few recent posts before you write anything. Notice whether she uses a score, whether she compares wines to other wines, whether she mentions where she bought it. Those habits tell you what kind of reply she's hoping for. Someone who rates wines out of five often enjoys a debate about the rating. Someone who writes long descriptive paragraphs often enjoys being asked how she'd describe a different wine.
Pick the one detail that gives you something to say
Choose a detail you have an actual opinion on. Maybe you've had a Loire cab franc and found it greener than she did, or you think the price makes her 3/5 too generous. A real opinion, even a small disagreement, gives her a reason to reply, because she gets to defend or revise her take.
If you don't have a strong view, ask a narrow question about the thing she noticed. Asking what the green pepper note reminded her of, or whether it changed as the bottle opened, is easy to answer and shows you actually read the note. Keep the question about the wine so she can answer in her own terms without feeling put on the spot about the rest of her life.
Wait for a reply before you bring up the next thing
If she answers with a real opinion, you have a conversation. Respond to what she said, add one thing of your own, and let her come back with another point. Two or three exchanges about wine is usually enough to see whether there's interest beyond the topic. Don't move to plans in the first few messages unless she's already suggested something.
If she sends a short reply like a single word or an emoji, that's a signal to keep your next message light or leave it there. If you don't get any response after one message, wait several days before a single follow-up that adds a new detail from another post. Two unanswered messages is enough. Let the thread rest after that.
Why these openers fail
“Hey! Love your wine posts. What's your favorite bottle?”
It could be sent to any wine poster and asks her to pick one thing out of an entire hobby, with nothing from her notes to respond to.
“Wow you're so gorgeous and I love that you know so much about wine lol”
It leads with appearance and compliments her knowledge in general terms, which reads as a line rather than a reaction to anything she wrote.
“Actually a Loire cab franc is usually more herbaceous than that, you probably had an off bottle. Here's my favorite producer if you want to try”
It opens with a correction and then pushes a recommendation before she's said anything, so it feels like a lecture rather than a conversation.
Common mistakes
- Saying you love wine without naming a single bottle or note from her posts
- Asking for her favorite wine as the whole message, which is an interview question with no hook
- Gushing about her photo or her looks in the same message as the wine comment
- Sending a long paragraph about your own wine knowledge so the message is mostly about you
- Opening with a correction of a detail she wrote, before saying anything friendly
Questions people ask
- Is it okay to comment on her tasting note in a DM instead of on the post?
- Yes, and a DM is often better because a public comment can feel like performing for an audience. Keep the DM short and specific to the note. It gives her room to answer honestly without putting her on the spot in front of her followers. If you're unsure, a comment with a real question followed by a DM later is a reasonable path.
- What if I don't actually know much about wine?
- You don't need expert knowledge to respond to a note. Ask what she meant by a specific word, or say which part you'd want to taste for yourself. Being honest that you're a beginner is often more appealing than pretending. Just respond to her description rather than trying to show off a vocabulary you don't have.
- How long should I wait before sending a second message if she doesn't reply?
- Wait at least three or four days before following up. Make the second message a new, specific detail from a different post, not a reminder that you messaged her. If she still doesn't reply, stop there. Two unanswered messages is a clear enough answer, and a third one tends to feel pushy rather than interested.
- Should I suggest meeting up for wine after a few messages?
- Only once the conversation has gone back and forth a few times and she's shown interest in talking. Suggesting a specific wine bar or bottle is more natural than vaguely asking to get drinks. Keep the suggestion light and easy to decline, and tie it to something she's actually mentioned wanting to try.
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