Bumble First Message for a Sommelier Who Goes Wine Tasting

A sommelier's profile tells you what she spends her energy on, and wine is probably the part she is most tired of being asked about. The useful question is what she does with it when she is not working. If she goes tasting for fun, she's into the social side and the discovery, not the credentials. If her photos are mostly at dinners or with friends, the wine is a way of spending time with people. Look at the rest of the profile for the same clue. A dog, a running route, or a city she keeps mentioning tells you what she wants to talk about besides wine.

Pay attention to how she writes, too. Someone who writes short, dry lines probably doesn't want a wine essay in return. Someone who writes with detail and enthusiasm probably wants you to match it. Her prompt answers are the most reliable place to see this, because she chose them and she knows what they say about her.

The first job of your message is to give her a reason to reply that doesn't require expertise. Pick one specific thing from her profile and react to it with a real opinion, a small joke, or a mild disagreement. Opinions are easier to answer than facts. If she wrote that she hates a grape, you can say you think she's wrong about it, and she gets to defend her position. That is a reply she can make in five seconds.

The second job is to show you are a person she'd enjoy a drink with. A sommelier spends her working life being the expert in the room, so being relaxed about not knowing things is attractive. Say you'd probably order the cheapest thing on the list and ask her to fix that. Keep the message short enough to read in one glance, and end it in a way that leaves her an easy opening, not a question she has to research.

Give a reply a day before you follow up, unless the conversation is already flowing. Bumble matches sit for a while, and a sommelier gets a lot of attention, so a slow answer usually means she's busy, not that she's lost interest. If she answers, keep the next message on whatever she brought up, even if that's a restaurant or a trip, and only touch wine if she does.

If there's no reply after two days, send one short follow-up that is light and doesn't mention the first message, something that makes replying easy, like a simple question about her weekend plans. If that gets nothing, stop. Bumble's timer means the match will close on its own if she never answers, so you don't need to chase her past that point. One follow-up is enough, and two is already pushing it.